As a person might have gathered from this blog, I’ve spent a good deal of time studying the denominational differences in protestant and/or Baptist churches, evangelical, charismatic, fundamentalist, Pentecostal, whatever. I’ve read too much, and no where nearly all or possibly enough, of the various general representative doctrines, theologies, dogma, traditions, origin, liturgy, hymnal traditions, current musical practice, currently fashionable influences and near heretical influence, preaching style, exegesis, translation selection(s), disposition of funds (by model, as opposed to financial statements), preaching priorities, pastoral services, community services, political message(s), etcetera present in modern Non-Catholic Christianity. I’ll admit it, I was being critical. With good reason. For one thing, I’ve always thought of myself as one form or another of Protestant, but before this effort, I only thought I understood, but I’ll admit it, I didn’t really get the distinctions.
Having been arguably a Christian for all of my adult life, with varying degrees of compliance, rebellion, abandonment, wrestling against, and fighting Christ in one way or other, I’ve reached a conclusion. Wherever the heck I finally figure out I’m really at in all that, it’s nevertheless my responsibility as a father to explain God to my daughter. I had to really look at whatever my own terms and beliefs may have been, were, or are; and have the kind of meaningful and TRUE conversation I could have with my seven year old daughter, and not in a while, later, but pretty damn SOON! If desirable to them, I’d also talk with my elder children on it. That’s up to them, not me. There’s an interesting degree of responsibility in that, and a rare opportunity to apply some critical thinking to one’s “conclusions” about the subject.
Imagine if you will, yourself as a Father, dealing with the questions of existence, the meaning of life, sin, Jesus, Buddha, Rainbow Clown, the Elf Goddess, whatever, and make sense of it to a seven year old who’s no dummy, so that it has an impact on her that you would want. Shouldn't that be something you can be proud of, and shouldn't it communicate who you really are to that person, shouldn't it protect her soul, provide her life with true joy? Well...duuuuuuh! This is not a time for amorphous concepts and half baked imaginings. This is the time to be knowing exactly what you DO believe enough to pass on to your child. Not to mention that because of the kind of commitment to the conversation you’ve made in this effort, where you wind up is important to YOU, too. I think God may have a stake in it as well. I dunno.
This really all started as a simple inquiry on behalf of my daughter. I wanted to give her a basis in faith. I didn't realize it would require that I actually operate from faith and commit to my beliefs as well. Whoops. I wanted to understand the “church” as I defined it. I took a non-catholic, probably even an anti-catholic perspective, that being the water I swam in when I was young. As I looked around at all the various Protestant denominations, currents of thought over the last 500 years, and “emerging” forms of the faith, here’s what I saw. Disagreement, disunity, difference of opinion, non-scriptural teaching, feel good make money messages, I get tired just listing all the denominations and conversations I DIDN’T want to be a part of.
What does a person do with that? Assign each, maybe all of it, to the scrap heap of conversations in the world because being so screwed up, it isn’t even worth pursuing? Believe me, at times I wanted to, after arguing, rather than discussing and learning about various points and points of view with increasingly bitter, argumentative, narrow minded, politically focused christo-bigots. Sorry. Have to call it like I see it. I got pretty argumentative myself, though, so clearly a more charitable assessment of those persons and groups is in order and necessary. It’s simple exasperation after trying for months to have useful and worthwhile conversations about the foundations of faith and belief. To them I can only say: Accepting unquestioningly everything one hears hoping to catch the "off-notes" of one's self and others, and doing so without critical investigation does not seem to me to be faith, but laziness. If my reason does not lead me to faith, then is it my faith, or my reason that is lacking? You just gotta know Who to ask. It IS important enough to at least question it.
Well, instead, after tiring completely of stupidity, bias, and self righteousness in that bunch, I delved into as much available information as I could get my hands on or tolerate. I read every mission or values statement, doctrinal dissertation, theology, soteriology, scripture interpretation methods, viewpoints and methods for experiencing scripture, faith, and religion in general. I stayed entirely away from anything remotely Catholic, coming close only when looking at Lutherans Episcopals and Anglicans of various kinds and types and affiliations. None of which totally satisfied me. I look also at all the old and new evangelical, charismatic, fundamentalist, Calvinist, puritan, Baptist, Anabaptist or Hutterite, Mennonite, Amish, or any of several ideologies and utopian viewpoint.
At long last, I've found out what GOD wanted for me to do about going to church. For one thing, stop deciding for myself. Turns out that the efforts I’d been making were sort of unknowingly designed to find and “decide on” a church that would agree with all my concern and not offend my sensibilities. In other words, find one that fit me, not for me to fit His church. I can say this for sure, what finally happened wasn't what I expected when I started looking into what I wanted to do about this, I only knew that I HAD to do it. God wouldn't leave me alone, and He certainly wasn’t about to let me tell my daughter a bunch of amorphous semi-quasi-spiritualish, new agey/pagan, buddhistic, sufist, kabalist. Tacit, if not yet overt acknowledgment of His existence in some form or another, and my inability to meet the obligation He presented me in my daughter put me in the position of following it as I had thought with no small trepidation, that I might. One might have asked in earlier times…follow what, where? How does a person follow many paths to one Truth? He can’t. If you don’t do one thing, you do no thing at all. So I slithered into this appealing burrow to see what good thing might be within.............
Let’s just say I read enough to be clear about one very important and surprising set of concepts. That the largest single “denomination” and largest single percentage of Christians are Catholic, at about 46%. The remainder are divided into adherents to one denomination or another, most certainly at some odds over doctrine with both the Catholic Church, and anywhere from many, to most other Protestant or Baptist denominations, on one or more points of interpretation and/or application, among other important distinctions such as were listed earlier. The remaining and ever growing percentage of Christians are, in varying degrees, “not into organized religion” and because of that are previous, future, or current members or ex-members of one or more of those same institutions.
If a person with an inquiring mind and little to no bias regarding these distinctions among the Protestant forms, say a merely Christian person seeking a home, were to enter into this inquiry with vigor, he would be quickly overwhelmed with the sheer variety and diversity of opinion in evidence. It takes education beyond the resultant value to become expert and fully versed in the subject. Enough can be understood at a much less granular level for an unbiased man to recognize the folly of the whole idea.
By contrast, there is the Roman Catholic Church, with one Scripture, one Magisterium, one Tradition, one Holy Apostolic Church. They claim that they are the church which Jesus began with Peter, explained and demonstrated from then until his Ascension, and caused to prevail through that church, over nearly two millenia thus far. They come with Tradition, full custody of the Deposit of Faith, the Scripture, and all the documentation you could ever need, from the beginning of the church through the present. No other Christian group can claim this. Only the Catholic Church even tries, and they can do more than claim it, they can PROVE it, not just assert it. How many martyrs died to pass on Jesus’ teachings and to keep this church alive during the first five centuries? Why would they do that? And how can that be compared with the world of disagreement, disunity, and difference of opinion presented by the other? To me, that was at the exact heart of my problem with church and church people.
As John Cardinal Newman said, “To study history is to become Catholic”. So, I read the Church Fathers and the Doctors of the Church, re-read Protestant theologians and founders again as well. I understood much, but know there’s more to learn. To do so required that I acknowledge the biases I brought to the conversation and let Jesus lead me. I can’t do that for you, I can’t do that for anyone else. It was a miracle of His grace and mercy that He did it for me and my family. All I did was ask Him to help.
Here’s why: I know I believe in God. I have for a long time. It is my experience that God cares about me. I know I was “saved”, baptized, and that I felt filled with the Holy Spirit both at the Water Baptism, and later as I lived out my faith. I can attest to occurrences in life that look as though they had to have been manipulated by His hand. What I didn’t know, what I’m learning, is how to love Him. What I asked for was the chance to try. Let’s see…I know I have a problem with authority, especially as it relates to God and issues of faith. Check. What happened at Our Lady was the beginning. Now, my family and I are joining the Catholic Church. We start RCIA this month, and we’ve already begun our homegrown family catechesis. This morning, we recited the Apostle’s Creed on the way to school. Well, THAT’S different. I’ll keep you posted. LOL
How do you teach a snake its shape? Put it in a tube.
God Bless and Keep You,
James
