The Selection Process

So, I'm doing a few google searches for erudite and thoughtful input on some doctrinal questions, and run into and start reading a certain pastor's extensive blogs. I'm thinking to myself that I'm liking a lot of his ideas. He seems well read, certainly well schooled. Some of it's right in line with my own thinking on some pretty important issues. So, not bad at all, it's mostly scriptural, lots of integrity in evidence, and I agree with much, if not perhaps all of what I see there, and some of it is pretty thought provoking. At first, I thought it was a larger local church, and kept reading anyway, even though I'm no fan of horizontal marketing and mega churches.

So, I share a few of the things I'm reading in the blog with my wife, and she asks me...so, where are they? I look under the locations tab on the website, and I see that they've planted churches all over the place, and wow...even two here in our state! So I'm thinking...cool. Where are they?

Smack dab In the two most ridiculously affluent communities in the state. Talk about effective church planting! Now when I say affluent....I MEAN affluent, and in this state, that means something. I think, well, given this guy's preaching, that doesn't have to be a bad thing....and I read the tab called something like: "How do I become a Member?" Wherein I read the following:

1. Attend services regularly. Of course.
2. Go to a social event with the pastors. OK, kind of a cool idea.
3. Attend a 3 part seminar series given several times per year, so I can understand what it means to be a follower of Jesus, the history of this particular church, the requirements of discipleship, the government of the church, baptism, and membership commitments. Really? Is there a final exam?
4. Then, once "graduated" join a small group, and serve in one of the church ministries. Mandatory?
5. Fill out a membership application. Do you want my salary history?
6. Attend a Membership Interview Should I bring my resume? I guess this is where I get my grade.
   
7. Post my name on the bulletin for two weeks and await any objections by any member of the church. If there are none....Gosh.. I hope they all LIKE me!!
8. Get "officially" welcomed to the Church Membership during the next Sunday service. Is that during both the early AND late services, or only one? Do you you prefer automatic payroll deductions or just my American Express Platinum Card? I mean just to save everyone time...I brought my bank statement and a blank check to start the process...this week, I don't know what I was thinking, I have.....sorry, cash.
   

Somehow, I think discernment isn't the issue for me here. I'm guessing I can probably even GET the job. I've been through tougher employment processes before, and gotten the high paying big guy, big bucks job. I know can do it! Still, there's this nagging question...........are we talking about the Kingdom of God, or the Kingdom of Man?

I'm just sayin'. ;) names have been intentionally avoided to protect the ludicrous.